the mom that missed the bus

So I was driving through town yesterday and saw a woman waiting for the bus. My heart suddenly sank. When did she stop caring? When did she lose her identity? Does having kids mean losing style and self respect? She looked how she probably felt. I will give her one credit...she showered. There is a step in the right direction. But that was the only step.

I don't know what's going on in her life but it just represents so many moms that just stop. You are still a person. You are not a package deal with your children. I'm all for investing in your kids but not to the point of totally forgetting your own identity. You are not just a mom!

I wonder if her husband misses his beautiful beaming bride. Where is she? All he has now is a tired mom in an oversized tshirt with her back slumped over. Did she stand tall at the alter? Or on dates? Do they date anymore? Every woman needs a reason to "get ready". And the husband deserves a wife that will do so.

If you are the role model for your children, what message are you sending them? "Its ok to be sloppy and lazy as long as you give your all to someone else..." If you are not taking care of yourself they will see that its ok to let everything go and not take responsibility. No wonder kids are so lazy and disrespectful these days. Remember way back when moms wore dresses and an apron? They stood tall. It was beautiful.

Now I realize we are not in the 50s so here are some tips...

If you have kids but want to look like you care then wear something nice in cotton. Cotton can still be nice...and its washable. Invest in OXI. Instead of a sweatshirt wear a blazer. Doesn't have to be a suit blazer either. There are cord, denim, twill...pick one that will work for your outfits. Wear jeans or chinos that flatter your body instead of sweats. (Though some sweats can be cute if you do it right. I'm all about a lazy day here and there but you need to make it once in awhile and make it a special creative day not just lazy!) Sneakers: not gym ones, flat converse kinds.

Instead of an oversized tshirt that you found or won, wear a fitted tee with some design or embellishment on it. Thats comfort with style.

Lastly, add studs. Jewelry can be annoying if your a mom. It can be overdone. Simply state you care with studs.

I wish this mom knew who she could be. When I think beauty I think confidence and respect. Take a little time and remind yourself that you are beautiful and you deserve to look and feel like it. You are still a woman afterall...

Seasons

Fall. Probably the most fashionable season of all. Warm colors and layers for the crisp fall air. Most people think of spring as a fresh new start...but for me its fall. To me, fall fashion is what we wait all year for. Its the start of the fashion year...where I invest the most money. My favorite fashion piece- a scarf. I love it. Its a year round piece but I love them the most during fall.

Now, with investing in a new wardrobe and fall being my favorite, what can I buy now that will take me through the whole year? This is a shopping mistake I always used to make! Do you try to buy clothes and/or accessories that might work for all seasons to get your money's worth? You might be surprised to find out that most things cannot work like that.

Remember the post about buying cheap items? That you should go ahead and invest in a few outfits that might cost more instead of hundreds of random pieces that you don't end up wearing? Well, guess what? Same deal. When buying during a season, buy for that season. For this fall I have invested in 3 fall outfits. They can of course mix and match with other things but initially that are from that original outfit....and they are all fall. I suggest doing that with every season. Buy a few outfits for that season. If they work for another season then great. But DO NOT buy something only because you'll wear it for more than one season that year. Things aren't typically meant for multiple seasons.

What are the seasons in fashion?

(months vary, and are approximate)

TRANSITION: (starting end of July/August) wearing summer and fall pieces together since weather is not as predictable

FALL: (September, October) warmer pieces, lots of layering

HOLIDAY: (November, December) once a year special pieces for all your holiday gatherings

WINTER: (Decemberish) Cold weather pieces

SPRING: (that yes starts in January and goes to Mayish) lighter pieces, colors, florals, lighter layering with some bright colors

SUMMER: (May, June, July) Nautical, light, bright, less is more clothing

COLOR and MATERIAL

While the color might work for two or more seasons, does the material? And vice versa. Scarves are year round pieces. BUT there are specific scarves for each season. Light colored wool for winter, pastel silk for spring, jersey for summer and transition, and plaid wool for fall. Now, those are only some of the tons they sell. But its to give you an idea. And it goes for all clothes. And to make it more complicated, there are different wools for different seasons and there aren't really any color rules anymore.Yeah. But to try to keep it simple...if it looks summery- its not gonna work for winter.

WHITE

not just a summer color. Remember the rule: no white after labor day until memorial day? Not really a rule. Just think of the materials you are using and you should be fine.

A tip from my personal shopper friend: Only a few pieces can take you through all seasons, and some are only for two seasons. Buy mostly for the season and grab one or two things that will work otherwise.

EXAMPLE of a piece for multiple seasons:

Grey silk tank

Summer: wear it with white pants

Fall: wear with warm colors, reds and browns and golds

Winter: wear with black cardigan

Spring: wear with a floral scarf

Good luck and please dress for the season you are currently in.

Mom Fashion

Theres nothing more relaxing than someone doing your hair. Even if its two little munchkins. They did a great job didn't they? I wanted to post a quick one about Mom fashion. I'm not talking "mom jeans" or oversized sweatshirts with your hair a mess and bags under your eyes (though I have that, too). I'm talking about boosting your kids confidence and self-esteem. One day Faith made me a necklace. Huge, bright, kid beads around my neck. And of course it was a little too small so it was a choker. She told me she made it for me to wear to church. She was so proud of it and I was so happy she took the time and thought about what I liked and put so much effort into it. So, I wore it to church. Sure, I got a few looks and they probably weren't bad looks. But knowing how it made my daughter feel was priceless. She walked in and told everyone that she made it.

So, with this beautiful hair-do, if you had the same would you wear it to the grocery store? The mall? Its important to know that if they make something for you or do your hair- wear it with pride. They made it with pride.

Of course there are always exceptions here. But its just something to think about. Enjoy their creativity!

"The Customer is Always Right"...

How important is customer service? How do you want to feel when you shop?

"The customer is always right" is a phrase used in retail (along with many other industries) and I have always thought it was wrong. They are not always right. Customers will try to scam or wheel and deal or just think they are above whoever is serving them. They can get very difficult. But what if the table was turned and it was the server who was "always right"? Are they? So, in comparison to each other I would say the server is more often right but that wasn't the case this past week...

Department stores. You either love 'em or hate 'em. Some are big and fancy and some are on the trashier side. Ah but think of the big names: Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Macy's, Lord and Taylor, Neiman Marcus...

Those are high class aren't they? Top of the top sales people, with top of the line quality and service. You expect a lot from them (since they expect a lot from you- monetarily anyway)

What do you expect when walking in? I expected them to know what they were doing. This past week I was shocked. Both good and bad. We went to Nordstrom first. They were so nice and really cared about our needs. They knew what they were doing. Unfortunately, we didn't find what we went in for. So we moved on to Lord and Taylor. We met the rudest person in the shoe department. Here is our story....

Upon leaving Lord and Taylor you have to walk through the shoe department. (well....we do.)

It was on the list of things to get...black heels. My friend found the best shoes. They made her feel so good and they were comfy (which face it is hard to find in a pointed heel). So, she asked the sales lady to try on the pair. The one from the rack had a sale sticker for $89.99. When the other half of the pair came out the sticker said $62.99. Well, which is it? So, I kindly went to the lady and asked her why they were marked different and what is it really? She said, "Well, the computer knows all, lets go see. It's $89.99. Did you want them?"

Wrong answer lady! In retail, if the store has made an error, they need to honor it. That's common knowledge if you're in the business, and most likely even if you're not. So, I questioned why we were not getting the lower price since it was the store's error. She got feisty and said, "well, that's what the computer said. I can give you a 20% off coupon though..." Oh no, no, no! I said, "excuse me but its not like someone placed the shoe on the wrong rack...the sticker is on the shoe which means the store did it...I'm confused to why you wouldn't honor that." She responded while shoving the shoe in my face, "THIS IS THE ONE THAT WAS ON THE RACK!" Whoa!!! I'm sorry but even if you think that I'm trying to con you...you don't shove something in my face!! I said, "Yes, but the other one is cheaper." She said, "I didn't have to give you the coupon but I did!" My friend says, "Even JCPenny gives us the coupons!" (Nothing against JCP, I love them too) She rudely responded, "Well, its not up to me if you want them." I said, "Well of course not, they're not your shoes!!" We were appalled at this so-called service so we said, "No." and left. They ended up being very inexpensive shoes but we would rather buy them full price if it meant we were treated correctly.

No sale is worth disrespect in my eyes. So, think for yourselves but this is not the first time this has happened there. A similar story happened to my friend earlier this summer with that "perfect dress" I wrote about. And that was a manager! So, we will not be going back there and we suggest you hold on to your dignity and do the same.

In this case, the customer was right!

Girls Weekend Discoveries

So here is a picture of two new purchases. My new necklace- I kept my eye open for the right long, multiple strand necklace and found one I really liked. The denim is new too. That is also something I have been trying to find...a perfect pair of confidence jeans that will go from day to night. I could not believe I finally found them!! Well worth the wait.

The tops were picked out by a personal shopper last fall. I put them all together and it felt like a brand new outfit. I felt I didn't have to question my choice at all. It felt really good to only worry about what I needed to do at work and not what I was wearing. I was able to focus on the customers and my responsibilities. I felt confident in my sales since I looked the part. I was able to have some really big sales...maybe not only because of my outfit choice but when it enables me to be confident then my sales do go up.

My sister who went on this girls weekend also purchased great finds. She learned a lot. We picked out two shirts. The first one she tried was unbelievable! Stunning! But it was more expensive. The second she tried on was flattering and on sale. This is when we need to really focus. We thought about it. There was something off about the second one. I didn't really want to crush her since she felt really good in it. But it had to be said...I didn't want her to buy it and only wear it once...if that. So, I explained how it was too young for her. It was something she would've bought a few years ago. Now that she is moving up in her professional life and being in a new decade category, she couldn't buy something for a 20 something. She needed to start dressing like she's in her 30s. After agreeing it was not right we still had the hefty price tag on the first one.

My suggestion was this: keep shopping. By the end of the day we did not find anything that came close to it. So instead of her spending a lot of money on sale shirts that were OK, she went back and bought the one expensive one.

Why it was worth the money:

*She will actually wear it

*She will feel confident in it

*It can be worn with plenty of styles and colors

Lessons learned:

*Don't buy out of your age group

*Don't buy sale just because its cheaper

*Wait and really think about it to make a wise decision

I found two tops when putting my denim outfit together. Just what I was looking for and looked awesome! BUT, full price. So I walked around the mall and even though I didn't find anything better I realized I didn't need them since they were a little summery. And being full priced I knew I could always go back to get them another time if I really wanted them. But after sleeping on it...I'll wait till they are on sale and if my size isn't there, I'm OK with not owning them. Those are just some things to weigh out.

So, there is one dilemma with two different outcomes. And we are both happy with our decisions!

Is it worth the extra money?

An update on a recent post about shopping sales...

I have found its not working for me. I don't end up loving the stuff I buy and its harder to put things together when you are only buying pieces. I end up with a bunch of stuff and I am not confident. It doesn't work so well when you just see something and say, "oh that's cute..." Ok sure but then what do you do with it?

Helpful hint: Check out what mannequins and bust forms are wearing- note that you love that outfit the store has put together. Once it goes on sale you know you have an outfit you love.

Try a personal shopper:

I have used a store's personal shopper and even if I paid a little more than if it was on a final sale, I do love it more than all the sale things I buy. I know I have a great outfit and if it goes with other things great as well. But to know you have a complete outfit makes getting ready so much faster and less stressful. That's worth the money to me (and to my family!)

Also, grab a couple sale items you like and ask for their assistance in making something work with what you are willing to spend. (Be realistic!) They may pull some full priced items too, but thats ok because if it can work with your sale item you are still spending less than if you bought all full priced, for an outfit that works.

They are such helpful tools in your shopping. Have you ever shopped for a wedding dress or been with someone that has? Have you ever noticed that what the bride picks out isn't always what they end up loving? That more often than not what someone else picks (something they would've never thought they'd like) they end up loving? Some cases it ends up being their dress! The same applies to everyday clothing. Let someone help you...not only will they encourage what they can see you in but to have a professional say, YES it looks great! will ring in your head when you may not be so sure at home.

Your Closet: love whats in it

My clothes wore me one day. I should've worn them. I felt really good about what I wore until I got to the mall and realized it wasn't fitting for me that day. It wasn't as much my style as it was a style I liked from someone else. I felt really discouraged. So, I have made a plan...a challenge for myself. I am going to clean out my closet and stop buying for awhile. So far its been a healthy experience. I am on a mission to find what is really right for me instead of taking styles from other people.

START CLEARING:

One thing you cannot compromise is size/fit.

Make sure the shoulders are where they are supposed to be. Thats a huge red flag when its not on your shoulder! Pockets on pants should be tucked in or if they are slit pockets, should sit flush on your hips (not popping off)

I am holding on to things in case I will fit in them again. But then I took another look. Its not doing me any good just hanging in my closet. I either have the wrong colors, wrong size, or I just don't love it. Figure it out and don't hold on to things if they just take up space in your closet....they don't pay rent!

CATEGORIZE:

Start by putting similar things together. For example: in my closet I have dressy tanks in a section, then non-silky tanks, then shirts with the sleeve lengths getting longer. Then I have button-down shirts, cardigans, jackets, skirts, pants then dresses.

Now that you have everything categorized make them color organized. Think warm to cool or cool to warm. Think of the rainbow and make one with every section. It'll help you see what you have of each style and if you overbuy a particular color.

GET RID OF IT!

I tried consigning at the beginning of summer and made over $50. My stuff was worth more than that but then I thought, hey thats $50 that I didn't have and I am not missing the clothes that either don't fit me or weren't right for me to begin with! So I am taking my $50 and saving it. Once I have gone over my closet I will then go shopping for a new fall wardrobe. :)

I can't wait to post some of my new things! And I challenge you to go through your closet and maybe make some money off the things that maybe wear you instead of you wearing them. Good luck!