because it goes

I went into town last week. I wore my cold weather boots and was the only one. I didn't slip and fall on the icy snow like some. I walked faster and not as wobbly as the other girls. But then I went into the city at night. I wore my 4 inch platform heels. Yeah. In the city you have to walk in snow and mud....and mud puddles. BUT it looked awesome with my outfit! And I was going out to nicer places so I needed to look more dressed up. Was it worth it? Walking through snow and a very deep brown puddle? Oh yes! Sometimes, fashion does come before comfort and practicality. This was one of those times!

"Mom, its not JUST a party"

Oh my heart. How it aches for women and their minds. When I see them trying to pick things out or try things on and the battle that goes on. I can see it in their eyes and I can see it in their body language. Especially young girls.

The other day I was shopping with my sister and we were in the dressing room. The only others there was a young girl (maybe teens) and her mom. Can you guess which one cared and which one didn't?

This poor girl was having a hard time and the mom just paced back and forth in a fleece and oversized jeans with gym sneakers...hair not done. No makeup. Now that might seem judgmental but just keep reading. (you must know where I am going with this by now...)

The girl was asking her mom's opinion. The mom says, as she paces, "Its fine. What about the first one. They're all fine. Its just a party. No one will know thats not black."

Mom, guess what? They will notice. And its not just a party. Its probably the most important thing that is happening in this girl's life right now. The mom has checked out before they even started. The girl just standing in the dressing room having no clue what to do. I'm sure she feels the pressure from a mom who doesn't care and peers that will. Maybe this girl wants more than a fleece and jeans. This girl still has a hope of appealing to someone. She hasn't given up yet.

As I watched, I debated whether or not to just step in and help this poor girl. The skirt was too short, the color of the sweater wasn't right for her or the skirt. The whole thing was not right for a party. I didn't want to step on them (mainly because the mom could probably kill me!) But my heart just keep breaking the more I watched.

This girl just wanted her mom to say, "Honey, you look beautiful. I love the way that looks on you." Or, "Oh sweetie, let's try something else. This doesn't seem to be working. Let's try a color that will make your eyes pop! Come with me, let's keep trying..."

I smiled at the girl as she walked past me. I wanted to hug her and say, "I know what its like to not know what your doing. To want to impress but feel helpless. To just want to fit in but can't seem to make the clothes obey your body. But you're beautiful, and you can find something better."

She smiled back a helpless smile. It was a smile that seemed to say, "thank you for smiling, for noticing me."

So this has two sides to it:

to the girl: Just because your mom doesn't get it, doesn't mean you're wrong. Its ok to want to look your best. And there are people out there that can help you achieve it. Its amazing the difference between knowing you're beautiful and feeling beautiful. You can have both.

and to the Mom: Do you remember what it was like to need to impress someone? A girl, a boy, the world? Do you remember how critical peers can be? It might be just a party to you. But to her...its life or death. It may not be your "thing" but take the time to listen to her. Feel for her. Help her.

Breakthrough!

I had a breakthrough! I had a Christmas party to go to. I found the most amazing shirt that would've been perfect! But I couldn't spend the money. My husband said I could buy it but that it would count as one of my presents. Funny, when it came down to that it wasn't so perfect anymore. I mean it was, but it wasn't worth taking the place of a Christmas present. Weird, huh?

I bought a shirt last year for the holiday time and didn't get to wear it for the holidays. I thought, you know what, I could wear it this year. Even though it was so "last year" it still worked. I forgot how much I liked it. (Couldn't live without it when I went to buy it last year...) I almost bought a scarf to wear to the party (it was cheaper than the new shirt) but still not worth taking the place of a Christmas present. So, I actually worked with what I had. (And a gorgeous bracelet borrowed from a friend)

So, I can use what I have. I don't have to buy something new. It felt really good to use what I have. I think I made my "last year" shirt feel good about itself. And that made me proud.

This is a huge step for me. And it was freeing. As much as I love being in style and a little out there with fashion, it was freeing to know that I can still be just as cool wearing something old(ish).

Do You See What I See?

I wonder what a mirror would say if it could talk. Like walls, they must see and hear a lot! I think they'd be sad. I think they would wish they could reach out and hug the woman looking back at them. They'd say, "What you are seeing isn't what I am showing you." I think they would be hurt to only see depressed faces looking at them. I think it would be hard for them to know whenever a woman looked at them they felt harsh and cruel. I'm sure the mirror doesn't think the woman is ugly or fat. I think the mirror would be proud to reflect the image they see.

Can you look in the mirror? For how long? Can you look at yourself in the eyes?

I used to have a really hard time looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw so I just pretended it wasn't there.

Women compete. I know this may be news to you but we are competitive and cruel. Why? Because we are dealing with our own insecurities. I wonder if we weren't so insecure if we might be a little nicer. Possibly encourage one another?

I grew up hearing, "You're fat. Ugly. Worthless." Its hard to not believe it after so many years and so many voices. Oh I hated that mirror!

Recently, I've changed that. I am not worthless. I am not ugly and I am not fat. I am beautiful. Sure there are things that I am insecure about but I can't change that. (I don't have an airbrush) And even if I did, I wouldn't use it.

How do you really feel about the examples we have? Wouldn't you like to hear something positive? Something perhaps real? "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (psalm 139:14) YOU were wonderfully made!!

Be encouraging to other women! Be an example to the younger generation. They see what we do and will become like us. Now, I realize this is a natural thing that women go through but I know that we can build each other up so that it won't be so hard to look in the mirror and say something nice about yourself.

People don't encourage one another much. I realize it can be awkward for both parties but it means so much. I encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror. Stare. Point out every beautiful feature and stop. Move on and encourage another female.

By the way, YOU are not worthless...YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN (the mirror told me so)

If the Shoe Fits

Ok so fitting wasn't the problem. I was shocked as I was browsing the mall yesterday that this was still a full priced item. But I thought it was a nice shoe and I had time to kill so I'll try it on.

Now this post is purely for laughs. I have two bags on my already big shoulder (full with shoulder pad because I am wearing my big peacoat) since I'm on my way to work. Shoe is on and a little too big. However, the zipper got stuck. So, I'm in the isle playing it all cool like checking out the shoe and all while what people don't know is that I'm panicking because I think I might be stuck with this shoe forever. It was ironic that the shoe was too big yet I couldn't get my foot out of it! Well, now I'm sweating while I battle it out with this gladiator.

People start looking, my bags fall. So, I get down on the floor and try to rework the flap by the zipper. It finally came off. I put it back all cool and collected as if, "nah, I don't love it." I wonder how many people knew that inside my heart was racing and I wanted to cry!

Have you ever had a moment like that? Where you were by yourself and had to act all cool when inside you were wondering how you'd survive the next few moments?

I wanted to laugh out loud but thought I'd start scaring people so I just kept walking...

Super(fab)-Mom!

So, I admit I'm no "super-mom"....

But when it comes to taking care of myself and my family, I do try...both. I just wanted to write a quick Mom post about that. Last night I went to a gala. I wore a very pricey (well, free for me thanks to a friend) skirt. Not to mention stockings that would tear if someone looked at them the wrong way. Hair and makeup- check! Everything was set in place and we were almost on our way out. Then the two year old had a poo.

So, while I look ready for the night out and looking all hip- I wiped that boy's bottom! Don't be deceived by the look in the picture. I am still mom and will do my duties till I'm in that car and driving away.

Don't put off looking and feeling great just because your kids are young and have a dirty bottom. You're still you...hot, fab, you!

You may not be super-mom either....but you can be both mom and fab chic! And your kids will admire that.

Buy or Borrow...ask a friend

I was very lucky to find a job where I love what I do and who I work with. Its funny though, how we all ask each other for fashion advice even though we are all in the business. Everyone needs a second opinion!

I had an event to go to for Faith's school. It was "party attire". So, that means less than cocktail but a little more than just any old party. I knew what would qualify in that category but obviously had to ask the professionals. I am the youngest mom at this school (by a few years too!) and work in fashion. I wanted my outfit to say that without screaming it. I had a seperates picture in my mind. I really wanted a sequin skirt and plain top. But I didn't have one. So, where do I turn to?? Personal shoppers!! Luckily, I have two of them that I am close to and they were ready and willing to share the wealth! I saw a sequin pencil skirt but my friend said it was too old for me. I agreed. Then there was a dress that was perfect for this occassion but it wasn't on sale and it would've been pretty pricey! So, between the two ladies who shared their own clothes, I had 7 things to choose from. Some were too dressy, some were too old, and some were not right for this occasion (Ali's Miami dress....)

But one day Alli got a hold of a return at the store....a gorgeous sequin skirt. She automatically said I could borrow it...actually she said I will borrow it! Now, I absolutely loved all I tried on but this one skirt was destined to be the one for the night.

As part of my love and talent in the industry I have a natural idea of what will work and what won't and once I had the idea of the skirt in mind, I couldn't let it go. It was the perfect combination of young and stylish. It was fun and I felt great in it. It made for a more fun time at the gala.

Don't be afraid to ask for advice....and maybe to borrow something from a friend. There was no way I could afford to buy the only other option in my head. Thank goodness for friends and their fabulous clothes. (and their extreme honesty!!) It doesn't have to cost a lot to look amazing. And you don't have to let go of that image in your head of the perfect outfit.

Thanks to Alli A and Maria. You guys made this such a fun experience!

Is it borrowable?

If I were my friend, would I borrow my stuff?

I looked down at my bracelet today and thought...'I really like that, if it were mine, I'd wear it all the time. Its so not me that its me!' Luckily, it was mine. A friend brought it back from over seas as a gift. Not something I would've picked out but I LOVE it!!

Got me thinking. The other day another friend of mine was reading in a magazine, "Would I be friends with me?" It asked questions like, "Would I meet up for coffee in the rain with me?"

So, when I looked at my stuff I thought, "Would I borrow from me? Is what's in my closet stuff I would borrow if it were my friend's?"

Its fun to borrow things from other people because it switches things up. But what if we thought that way when we purchased? When I see something in the store...do I really like it? If it were in my friend's closet would I want to borrow it?

I looked at my closet and thought, "Eh, I wouldn't borrow this....but I would soooo borrow that!" Its just a fun way to take a spin on what you are constantly buying. I always fall for the silk tanks. I don't know why. They are not flattering on me and I always put it back in the closet after attempting to wear it for the day. (well, night.) So, if my friend owned it, would I want to borrow it? Probably not...and in this case I wouldn't LOVE to borrow it, I would for an occasion that it was necessary for...that's it.

So, then think of your clothes in the way of, if I were my friend would I borrow it? It will either give you a new appreciation for your clothes or you might realize you didn't absolutely need that thing you thought you couldn't live without when at the store.

crossing the line

600,000-800,000.

That's a large amount of anything. Thats approximately how many victims annually are trafficked across international borders worldwide. *

More than half of that number...are children.*

Does that bother you? It turns my stomach and seems unreal.

According to Slaverymap.com 27 million people live in bondage. Did you know slavery still existed? How about the slavery that is happening right here in Massachusetts?

The other night a couple of friends and I attended a meeting with a safe house in the area. The reports from this area are stunning. Yet, just two days before I was at the mall and saw two young girls on the escalator in front of me. Their "behinds" were literally hanging out of their shorts. Their shirts were skin tight. I thought, 'Do these girls know their worth?' Probably not because they are young and invincible. It screamed easy target. The amount of vulnerable people out there is astonishing. I don't just mean inappropriately clothed girls either. Depressed and lonely, hurt and confused.

At the meeting I thought about these girls and the women I see at the mall everyday. Its in the area...pimps are out there and getting away with too much.

What are we teaching (or not teaching) our girls? Where is the line that is drawn between fashion and lack of respect?

I'm appalled at what kids see and hear these days. I can't even have a nice family dinner at the food court without some sort of inappropriately clothed people having some sort of sex on the tvs. "Uh kids, just look directly at your food and you should be ok..." Its horrible. And the parent that has no problem with what their kids wear....would they feel different knowing their child is a target? What kind of example are we setting? Hmm...

I've done some serious thinking about what true fashion means and where it falls in line with respecting yourself and the others around you. It opened my eyes real wide.

*US department of health and human services

updates

Some of you have been sending me pictures of your outfits. I can't seem to get them from your texts to the computer...so please feel free to post your pictures. I am impressed with your choices. Did you feel better or wish you stayed with the sweats? Let me know your thoughts!! And hopefully we will get to see your pics!

Setting an Example

I just wanted to post some pictures of what I was referring to the last post. Now this is neither a blazer or an embellished tee but they follow the same rules. Let me explain:

The tshirt is a cotton slub (material that adds texture and depth) v-neck. Its super comfortable but gives shape and shows that I care about myself and my kids since I can play all I want with them in it.

The jacket is something that I got when I went on a weekend away with my husband. Now this jacket shows that I have other interests and its a very feminine fit. It also reminds me of who I am when I am just me and my hubby. I'm me! The Revolution is something that Josiah and I love. For 90 minutes (well usually a little more) we can eat crazy expensive food and watch a game that we are both into. And it gives us something to talk about. Its just always so much fun hanging out with my best friend at those games. So, when I wear this jacket, it not only flatters my figure in a comfy way, I am reminded of all the fun I had the night I bought it. It reminds me of ME, not so much "Mommy".

And comfort doesn't have to be expensive:

Jeans from Old Navy $25

Tee from Banana Republic $6.99

Revs jacket from Gillette Stadium $70

OK so I splurged a little on the jacket but it was a weekend getaway and it was fun! We all need that sometimes!

Hopefully, this will help you see what I've been talking about.

the mom that missed the bus

So I was driving through town yesterday and saw a woman waiting for the bus. My heart suddenly sank. When did she stop caring? When did she lose her identity? Does having kids mean losing style and self respect? She looked how she probably felt. I will give her one credit...she showered. There is a step in the right direction. But that was the only step.

I don't know what's going on in her life but it just represents so many moms that just stop. You are still a person. You are not a package deal with your children. I'm all for investing in your kids but not to the point of totally forgetting your own identity. You are not just a mom!

I wonder if her husband misses his beautiful beaming bride. Where is she? All he has now is a tired mom in an oversized tshirt with her back slumped over. Did she stand tall at the alter? Or on dates? Do they date anymore? Every woman needs a reason to "get ready". And the husband deserves a wife that will do so.

If you are the role model for your children, what message are you sending them? "Its ok to be sloppy and lazy as long as you give your all to someone else..." If you are not taking care of yourself they will see that its ok to let everything go and not take responsibility. No wonder kids are so lazy and disrespectful these days. Remember way back when moms wore dresses and an apron? They stood tall. It was beautiful.

Now I realize we are not in the 50s so here are some tips...

If you have kids but want to look like you care then wear something nice in cotton. Cotton can still be nice...and its washable. Invest in OXI. Instead of a sweatshirt wear a blazer. Doesn't have to be a suit blazer either. There are cord, denim, twill...pick one that will work for your outfits. Wear jeans or chinos that flatter your body instead of sweats. (Though some sweats can be cute if you do it right. I'm all about a lazy day here and there but you need to make it once in awhile and make it a special creative day not just lazy!) Sneakers: not gym ones, flat converse kinds.

Instead of an oversized tshirt that you found or won, wear a fitted tee with some design or embellishment on it. Thats comfort with style.

Lastly, add studs. Jewelry can be annoying if your a mom. It can be overdone. Simply state you care with studs.

I wish this mom knew who she could be. When I think beauty I think confidence and respect. Take a little time and remind yourself that you are beautiful and you deserve to look and feel like it. You are still a woman afterall...

Seasons

Fall. Probably the most fashionable season of all. Warm colors and layers for the crisp fall air. Most people think of spring as a fresh new start...but for me its fall. To me, fall fashion is what we wait all year for. Its the start of the fashion year...where I invest the most money. My favorite fashion piece- a scarf. I love it. Its a year round piece but I love them the most during fall.

Now, with investing in a new wardrobe and fall being my favorite, what can I buy now that will take me through the whole year? This is a shopping mistake I always used to make! Do you try to buy clothes and/or accessories that might work for all seasons to get your money's worth? You might be surprised to find out that most things cannot work like that.

Remember the post about buying cheap items? That you should go ahead and invest in a few outfits that might cost more instead of hundreds of random pieces that you don't end up wearing? Well, guess what? Same deal. When buying during a season, buy for that season. For this fall I have invested in 3 fall outfits. They can of course mix and match with other things but initially that are from that original outfit....and they are all fall. I suggest doing that with every season. Buy a few outfits for that season. If they work for another season then great. But DO NOT buy something only because you'll wear it for more than one season that year. Things aren't typically meant for multiple seasons.

What are the seasons in fashion?

(months vary, and are approximate)

TRANSITION: (starting end of July/August) wearing summer and fall pieces together since weather is not as predictable

FALL: (September, October) warmer pieces, lots of layering

HOLIDAY: (November, December) once a year special pieces for all your holiday gatherings

WINTER: (Decemberish) Cold weather pieces

SPRING: (that yes starts in January and goes to Mayish) lighter pieces, colors, florals, lighter layering with some bright colors

SUMMER: (May, June, July) Nautical, light, bright, less is more clothing

COLOR and MATERIAL

While the color might work for two or more seasons, does the material? And vice versa. Scarves are year round pieces. BUT there are specific scarves for each season. Light colored wool for winter, pastel silk for spring, jersey for summer and transition, and plaid wool for fall. Now, those are only some of the tons they sell. But its to give you an idea. And it goes for all clothes. And to make it more complicated, there are different wools for different seasons and there aren't really any color rules anymore.Yeah. But to try to keep it simple...if it looks summery- its not gonna work for winter.

WHITE

not just a summer color. Remember the rule: no white after labor day until memorial day? Not really a rule. Just think of the materials you are using and you should be fine.

A tip from my personal shopper friend: Only a few pieces can take you through all seasons, and some are only for two seasons. Buy mostly for the season and grab one or two things that will work otherwise.

EXAMPLE of a piece for multiple seasons:

Grey silk tank

Summer: wear it with white pants

Fall: wear with warm colors, reds and browns and golds

Winter: wear with black cardigan

Spring: wear with a floral scarf

Good luck and please dress for the season you are currently in.

Mom Fashion

Theres nothing more relaxing than someone doing your hair. Even if its two little munchkins. They did a great job didn't they? I wanted to post a quick one about Mom fashion. I'm not talking "mom jeans" or oversized sweatshirts with your hair a mess and bags under your eyes (though I have that, too). I'm talking about boosting your kids confidence and self-esteem. One day Faith made me a necklace. Huge, bright, kid beads around my neck. And of course it was a little too small so it was a choker. She told me she made it for me to wear to church. She was so proud of it and I was so happy she took the time and thought about what I liked and put so much effort into it. So, I wore it to church. Sure, I got a few looks and they probably weren't bad looks. But knowing how it made my daughter feel was priceless. She walked in and told everyone that she made it.

So, with this beautiful hair-do, if you had the same would you wear it to the grocery store? The mall? Its important to know that if they make something for you or do your hair- wear it with pride. They made it with pride.

Of course there are always exceptions here. But its just something to think about. Enjoy their creativity!

"The Customer is Always Right"...

How important is customer service? How do you want to feel when you shop?

"The customer is always right" is a phrase used in retail (along with many other industries) and I have always thought it was wrong. They are not always right. Customers will try to scam or wheel and deal or just think they are above whoever is serving them. They can get very difficult. But what if the table was turned and it was the server who was "always right"? Are they? So, in comparison to each other I would say the server is more often right but that wasn't the case this past week...

Department stores. You either love 'em or hate 'em. Some are big and fancy and some are on the trashier side. Ah but think of the big names: Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Macy's, Lord and Taylor, Neiman Marcus...

Those are high class aren't they? Top of the top sales people, with top of the line quality and service. You expect a lot from them (since they expect a lot from you- monetarily anyway)

What do you expect when walking in? I expected them to know what they were doing. This past week I was shocked. Both good and bad. We went to Nordstrom first. They were so nice and really cared about our needs. They knew what they were doing. Unfortunately, we didn't find what we went in for. So we moved on to Lord and Taylor. We met the rudest person in the shoe department. Here is our story....

Upon leaving Lord and Taylor you have to walk through the shoe department. (well....we do.)

It was on the list of things to get...black heels. My friend found the best shoes. They made her feel so good and they were comfy (which face it is hard to find in a pointed heel). So, she asked the sales lady to try on the pair. The one from the rack had a sale sticker for $89.99. When the other half of the pair came out the sticker said $62.99. Well, which is it? So, I kindly went to the lady and asked her why they were marked different and what is it really? She said, "Well, the computer knows all, lets go see. It's $89.99. Did you want them?"

Wrong answer lady! In retail, if the store has made an error, they need to honor it. That's common knowledge if you're in the business, and most likely even if you're not. So, I questioned why we were not getting the lower price since it was the store's error. She got feisty and said, "well, that's what the computer said. I can give you a 20% off coupon though..." Oh no, no, no! I said, "excuse me but its not like someone placed the shoe on the wrong rack...the sticker is on the shoe which means the store did it...I'm confused to why you wouldn't honor that." She responded while shoving the shoe in my face, "THIS IS THE ONE THAT WAS ON THE RACK!" Whoa!!! I'm sorry but even if you think that I'm trying to con you...you don't shove something in my face!! I said, "Yes, but the other one is cheaper." She said, "I didn't have to give you the coupon but I did!" My friend says, "Even JCPenny gives us the coupons!" (Nothing against JCP, I love them too) She rudely responded, "Well, its not up to me if you want them." I said, "Well of course not, they're not your shoes!!" We were appalled at this so-called service so we said, "No." and left. They ended up being very inexpensive shoes but we would rather buy them full price if it meant we were treated correctly.

No sale is worth disrespect in my eyes. So, think for yourselves but this is not the first time this has happened there. A similar story happened to my friend earlier this summer with that "perfect dress" I wrote about. And that was a manager! So, we will not be going back there and we suggest you hold on to your dignity and do the same.

In this case, the customer was right!

Girls Weekend Discoveries

So here is a picture of two new purchases. My new necklace- I kept my eye open for the right long, multiple strand necklace and found one I really liked. The denim is new too. That is also something I have been trying to find...a perfect pair of confidence jeans that will go from day to night. I could not believe I finally found them!! Well worth the wait.

The tops were picked out by a personal shopper last fall. I put them all together and it felt like a brand new outfit. I felt I didn't have to question my choice at all. It felt really good to only worry about what I needed to do at work and not what I was wearing. I was able to focus on the customers and my responsibilities. I felt confident in my sales since I looked the part. I was able to have some really big sales...maybe not only because of my outfit choice but when it enables me to be confident then my sales do go up.

My sister who went on this girls weekend also purchased great finds. She learned a lot. We picked out two shirts. The first one she tried was unbelievable! Stunning! But it was more expensive. The second she tried on was flattering and on sale. This is when we need to really focus. We thought about it. There was something off about the second one. I didn't really want to crush her since she felt really good in it. But it had to be said...I didn't want her to buy it and only wear it once...if that. So, I explained how it was too young for her. It was something she would've bought a few years ago. Now that she is moving up in her professional life and being in a new decade category, she couldn't buy something for a 20 something. She needed to start dressing like she's in her 30s. After agreeing it was not right we still had the hefty price tag on the first one.

My suggestion was this: keep shopping. By the end of the day we did not find anything that came close to it. So instead of her spending a lot of money on sale shirts that were OK, she went back and bought the one expensive one.

Why it was worth the money:

*She will actually wear it

*She will feel confident in it

*It can be worn with plenty of styles and colors

Lessons learned:

*Don't buy out of your age group

*Don't buy sale just because its cheaper

*Wait and really think about it to make a wise decision

I found two tops when putting my denim outfit together. Just what I was looking for and looked awesome! BUT, full price. So I walked around the mall and even though I didn't find anything better I realized I didn't need them since they were a little summery. And being full priced I knew I could always go back to get them another time if I really wanted them. But after sleeping on it...I'll wait till they are on sale and if my size isn't there, I'm OK with not owning them. Those are just some things to weigh out.

So, there is one dilemma with two different outcomes. And we are both happy with our decisions!

Is it worth the extra money?

An update on a recent post about shopping sales...

I have found its not working for me. I don't end up loving the stuff I buy and its harder to put things together when you are only buying pieces. I end up with a bunch of stuff and I am not confident. It doesn't work so well when you just see something and say, "oh that's cute..." Ok sure but then what do you do with it?

Helpful hint: Check out what mannequins and bust forms are wearing- note that you love that outfit the store has put together. Once it goes on sale you know you have an outfit you love.

Try a personal shopper:

I have used a store's personal shopper and even if I paid a little more than if it was on a final sale, I do love it more than all the sale things I buy. I know I have a great outfit and if it goes with other things great as well. But to know you have a complete outfit makes getting ready so much faster and less stressful. That's worth the money to me (and to my family!)

Also, grab a couple sale items you like and ask for their assistance in making something work with what you are willing to spend. (Be realistic!) They may pull some full priced items too, but thats ok because if it can work with your sale item you are still spending less than if you bought all full priced, for an outfit that works.

They are such helpful tools in your shopping. Have you ever shopped for a wedding dress or been with someone that has? Have you ever noticed that what the bride picks out isn't always what they end up loving? That more often than not what someone else picks (something they would've never thought they'd like) they end up loving? Some cases it ends up being their dress! The same applies to everyday clothing. Let someone help you...not only will they encourage what they can see you in but to have a professional say, YES it looks great! will ring in your head when you may not be so sure at home.

Your Closet: love whats in it

My clothes wore me one day. I should've worn them. I felt really good about what I wore until I got to the mall and realized it wasn't fitting for me that day. It wasn't as much my style as it was a style I liked from someone else. I felt really discouraged. So, I have made a plan...a challenge for myself. I am going to clean out my closet and stop buying for awhile. So far its been a healthy experience. I am on a mission to find what is really right for me instead of taking styles from other people.

START CLEARING:

One thing you cannot compromise is size/fit.

Make sure the shoulders are where they are supposed to be. Thats a huge red flag when its not on your shoulder! Pockets on pants should be tucked in or if they are slit pockets, should sit flush on your hips (not popping off)

I am holding on to things in case I will fit in them again. But then I took another look. Its not doing me any good just hanging in my closet. I either have the wrong colors, wrong size, or I just don't love it. Figure it out and don't hold on to things if they just take up space in your closet....they don't pay rent!

CATEGORIZE:

Start by putting similar things together. For example: in my closet I have dressy tanks in a section, then non-silky tanks, then shirts with the sleeve lengths getting longer. Then I have button-down shirts, cardigans, jackets, skirts, pants then dresses.

Now that you have everything categorized make them color organized. Think warm to cool or cool to warm. Think of the rainbow and make one with every section. It'll help you see what you have of each style and if you overbuy a particular color.

GET RID OF IT!

I tried consigning at the beginning of summer and made over $50. My stuff was worth more than that but then I thought, hey thats $50 that I didn't have and I am not missing the clothes that either don't fit me or weren't right for me to begin with! So I am taking my $50 and saving it. Once I have gone over my closet I will then go shopping for a new fall wardrobe. :)

I can't wait to post some of my new things! And I challenge you to go through your closet and maybe make some money off the things that maybe wear you instead of you wearing them. Good luck!

how much is too much...even for perfection?

How much would you pay for the perfect summer dress? The perfect summer dress is hard to find. You want that one dress every summer that is your go-to dress but isn't over used. Its special. It fits you right in every way. It makes you feel beautiful and special and confident. The colors are perfect. The length, style, fabric...all perfect. Its like finding a needle in a haystack, right? So, what if you found it!? How much are you willing to spend on it? Now keep in mind it can be dressed up and down. It can be worn for all occasions. You can switch it up so it doesn't necessarily look like the same dress every time. (which is important since summer is so short, especially in New England).

What if the dress was way more than you thought you should spend? What if it was a lot? I am curious to see who would spend the money on this perfect dress and who would just leave it at the store. What are your spending limitations?

My friend found such a dress. It has a hefty price tag. Should she buy it?

I would love to hear all your thoughts!!

why do you buy?

One thing that I hear often is, "I got such a deal on this!" Problem is, they don't love it and its not them. Everything will eventually go on sale. Paying retail is ridiculous. (Though sometimes I have to admit it feels good). But when you buy something it should be because you love it and know that it would be a good addition in your closet. Watch it and wait. There are so many things I love at work...by the time it goes on sale I realize it wasn't as great as I originally thought. I just saved myself so much money! Take the $5 you spent on that shirt that was such a good deal. If you don't buy all those "deals" you'll save enough money to buy that one amazing piece that by now is on sale! Wait. Watch. And rethink it. Make sure you love it as much when you buy it as you did when it first hit the store/internet.

Now I am a little overboard clothing wise but I like to think of my clothes as part of my closet family. Will I take care of it? Will it make me feel confident (as my friend would say "ready to take on the world")? Or was it just CHEAP!? For years I bought things because there was a great sale. Then I end up with a pile of "OK" clothes that aren't even that wonderful. I believe in investing in your closet. When you shop, plan outfits. I ask myself "what will this go with?" which sometimes works. However, its nice to buy one outfit at time (or a couple) but to have a complete outfit and then you can mix and match it later. Save up and buy seasonally. Now, I do buy sale items alone and not planned because I know it will be the best match for an outfit at home. And because its fun. But please don't just buy something because its cheap!! It probably won't do you any good. Buy because you are in love with that piece or pieces. That way you won't regret it. You will actually save yourself money and closet space.

Finally, when holding that crazy cheap sale item, ask yourself if you love it enough that you would've bought it retail. Chances are you'll know right then if its worth it and if it will be a good addition to the "family".

Now, shop with confidence!

When Jeans and a Tee are ok...

I've been watching two kids in addition to mine for the past week and for the rest of this week. We've been going to the playground a lot and its been in the 90s. As I was getting dressed this morning I realized I was putting on jeans and a t-shirt!! I stopped and thought...."am I really back to this?!" Then with confidence I replied (to myself), "yes, I am and its ok!"

I had two shirt options today. A tight black short sleeve v-neck and an Aero tee (I think I took from my husband). I looked at them both and thought about it. I grabbed the t-shirt and threw it on. It would be cooler and I won't care if its messy. I also won't have to worry about it riding up the back when I'm pushing the kids on the tire swing.

However, I didn't go overboard. For my jeans I chose super cute rolled up bermuda denim. I kept it looking pulled together for a mom with four kids on the hot, hot playground. If you're going to do a "mom" look, make sure part of it is still stylish. Like the other day when I wore gym shorts...I paired it with a fitted Red Sox tee. I didn't want to look like I just rolled out of bed either time.

Accomplished! And I had much more fun with the kids because I didn't have to worry about what I looked like and if it was getting dirty. Whew!

Anyone Can Dress

I was watching a movie awhile ago and the main line from it was "anyone can cook". That night my friend asked me for fashion advice...literally while I was watching the movie. I helped her with ideas and she picked something along the lines of what I meant. It was not something I would've ever picked out but it looked great on her and she felt really good about it. Then it hit me, "anyone can dress".

Another friend of mine is getting more noticed (in a good way) :) because of her confidence with style now. I gave her a few pointers and have shopped with her several times. She totally gets it now and looks amazing! And she can dress on her own now. (they have to grow up sometime...)

As for me. I've always loved clothes. I've always thought hard about what I wore (even if it didn't look right, I was conscious of my decision). Looking back I had no idea what I was doing. I see pictures of me and can't believe how awful some of my style choices were. In second or third grade I wore the same sweatshirt with a teddybear with 3 balloons on it. I never washed my clothes. I had a pile of dirty laundry behind my bed for years. I hated laundry. I hated style. Who cares anyway?( Although I did think that teddybear sweatshirt was AMAZING and didn't realize people knew I wore it everyday.) Then as I grew up I had silly styles. In sixth grade I tried to be a hippie. That was interesting. I started to really think about fashion in high school and then went into retail where I learned more. But it took me 8 years of retail and 4 clothing stores to actually have it click. I know my style now and I love it. It wasn't until I fully knew my style that now I can dress with confidence. Its great. So, if I can dress with style and confidence...ANYONE CAN DRESS!

Are you selling it?

Are you confident with what you wear? Even if you think its good, do you still ask yourself what someone will think? Thank goodness for my friend who gave me a piece of advice! I'd love to share it with you. Its simple....just sell it. Oh right I thought- its not that easy! But it is. I can usually tell if something works or not. But then I was still wondering what the smart fashion people at work would say.

This friend taught me something I already knew but needed to hear again to make it stick. He said, "its all opinion!" That's what fashion is. If you want people to like it- you've got to sell it. He wore something one time and a woman said, "well thats interesting..." She was totally making fun of him and his response was, "thanks!!" Not because he wanted to stand out but because if he doesn't sell it, no one would buy it. He loved what he wore and he really put thought into it. That woman then said to his response, "Yeah, I mean I heard you could put those things together but never knew how it would work...I guess you've figured it out. That's cool to see." Well something along those lines anyway. He totally sold her! Well done my friend!

So, yesterday was laundry day and I didn't have my comfort work clothes so I took a big step. I put something together that I hadn't before. It was safe but not normally what I'd wear to work. I had to do my hair accordingly. A style I don't usually do because it required it to be down...ugh! But it worked. I thought, "I love it and that's what counts." I was completely confident with my choices. When I got to work my friend said, "you're totally selling it!" hahaha!

Now, another big part of that lesson is it has to be "you". You can't try to have someone else's style. You won't be able to sell it no matter how hard you try. I can't wear certain things because I can feel its wrong. Here is an example...

One guy at work wears the same dress shirt, tie, and sweater with chinos. Looks great and its totally him. He is taken seriously when he talks to his clients. Another guy at work wears layers and layers. Scarfs and bowties and polos over button downs...totally him. He can be taken seriously and people listen and buy from him. If you take the two guys and have them trade clothes for a day... people would buy as much. (talking literally buying here) I don't think they'd trust these guys as much.

So the two things I offer today is: 1. Be yourself with style and 2. SELL IT! :)

Thanks to my friend for this uplifting confidence boost!! No need for second guesses anymore.

Plans

I've always loved fashion. I loved retail. But thought that I would be smart in planning and make a "real" career in photography, not clothing. That flopped. I realized how much I missed clothing retail. I decided thats what I want to do...

I was 20 when Josiah and I got married. We had a 5 year plan. We would continue college and start our careers to make money and buy a house. Then we would start a family. Well to our surprise (since it was not in the plan) we had a positive pregnancy test a few months into the marriage. Now what? School was put on hold. We stayed at our little cabin in the woods. I slept most of the pregnancy and since I was huge in the summer...fashion was not a top priority!

Once I had my daughter, Faith, I was stuck wearing t shirts and jeans all the time. She was a spit-up baby. And she pulled and pulled on everything I wore. I thought, "I will never be able to be fashionable again!" So my dream and plan of fashion flopped. I guess I was doomed for the "mom look" I dreaded.

A few years later, and another child later I found myself. Yup, there I was. I decided to go back to work. I have now figured out that it is fashion that I love and want to pursue. So I am!

Is it possible to have everything you want? No. But it is possible to have your dreams come true. I am in the process of making that work. It isn't easy and it isn't how I planned it. But its what I have and I love it. Its what I am given and I will give it my best as long as I have it.

I have a wonderful and supportive family. I have a job that I am in love with! I get to escape from motherhood long enough to get my fashion fix and then come home and be OK with the kids getting food and snot on my clothes (mainly because I use OXY). :)

So, follow me on this journey as I learn how to blend my favorite things and make my dreams come true. Not according to my plans...but His.